Chapter 2: Aren't We Friends Too?
Time didn't flow at the same rate between Blue Star and the various spacetimes.
When the Celestial Screens unfolded across the major spacetimes,
only one hour had passed on Blue Star.
Lin Fan stretched lazily.
He planned to take a break.
Get some good sleep.
The System suddenly chimed with a notification.
[Current Popularity: 100,000.]
[Real-world reward credited: 10,000 yuan.]
Lin Fan shot up from his chair.
"Just one hour, and I got ten thousand bucks?"
"Holy shit, sleep my ass, back to editing videos!"
Lin Fan was completely hyped.
Ten bucks an hour? Fine for slacking off, no complaints.
Ten thousand an hour? If I don't die at this desk, it just means I've got a hard life!
Across the various spacetimes.
The Celestial Screen continued.
[266 AD.]
[Sima Yan forced Emperor Yuan of Wei, Cao Huan, to abdicate.]
[He established his capital at Luoyang, named the state Jin, known historically as Western Jin.]
[In 280 AD, Jin forces sailed down the river and destroyed Sun Wu.]
[Thus, nearly a century of division since the late Eastern Han temporarily came to an end.]
[The land of Huaxia was unified once more.]
The visuals unfolded.
Late Wei, Luoyang. Powerful ministers ran the show.
The Sima family had schemed for three generations, filling the court with their lackeys.
Sima Yi outlived three generations of capable Cao Wei emperors, finally seizing control of the court.
Sima Shi and Sima Zhao ran rampant, pulling Cao Wei entirely into their grasp.
In the end, Sima Yan sat in dragon robes atop the Taiji Hall.
Then, naval warships sailed down the river.
Eastern Wu's capital, Jianye, fell.
Sun Hao bared his chest and surrendered.
The Three Kingdoms ultimately returned to Jin.
The comments surged.
[Unified on the surface, but really just stealing the peach.]
[Cao Cao fought his whole life, only to hand it cheap to Sima Yi's grandson.]
[Sima family: Thanks bro Cao Wei for delivering the empire.]
[Three Kingdoms drained all the heroism; Two Jins spat out nothing but rats.]
[Trash Sima Jin, dragged Huaxia into three hundred years of darkness. Dead last is well deserved.]
Western Jin.
Sima Yan couldn't sit still.
"Three generations of our family fought hard to unify the world. Why is our rating dead last?"
"This isn't fair! The Celestial Screen isn't fair!"
"And what is this 'three hundred years of darkness'?"
"Could our descendants be as useless as the Eastern Han?"
Late Eastern Han.
Cao Cao stood in the Xuchang palace.
His face iron-blue.
"Good, good, good. Took This King's empire right out of my hands!"
"Guards, exterminate that old thief Sima Yi to the ninth generation."
Three Kingdoms.
Ji Han.
Liu Bei was in the Chengdu palace.
He let out a long sigh.
"Four hundred years of the Han house... it fell after all."
Zhuge Liang waved his feather fan, his expression perfectly calm.
"My lord needn't grieve too much."
"No matter what, we must do it."
Liu Bei nodded, his resolve returning.
"The Chancellor is right."
"Whatever the outcome, we must restore the Han."
But then, Liu Bei couldn't help but give a bitter laugh.
"Master Kongming, you were outlived by this Sima Yi too."
Zhuge Liang's fan paused.
Then he shook his head helplessly.
"Liang indeed lacked his longevity."
"But I never expected that the one who'd seize the world in the end would be Sima Yi."
"The Cao clan usurped the Han. I suppose this counts as karma catching up."
Great Wei, Wu Palace.
Sun Quan was in the Jianye palace.
His expression ugly.
"This King's Jiangdong."
"Actually fell to the Sima clan."
Lu Xun consoled him from the side.
"My lord, since the Celestial Screen has warned us."
"We can naturally change this fate."
Sun Quan nodded, pondering inwardly.
"Seems my descendants just weren't up to it. I need to carefully balance and pick the heir to Great Wu's foundation."
The Celestial Screen continued.
[Looking solely at unification.]
[Pacifying the Three Kingdoms was hell-level difficulty.]
[From the Yellow Turban Rebellion in the late Eastern Han, treacherous officials disrupting the court, followed by heroes vying for the realm.]
[Every great hero emerged, famous generals like clouds, strategists like stars, taking turns on the stage.]
[Until the tripartite division, attacking each other, nearly a century had passed.]
[Nine out of ten homes were empty, the people exhausted beyond measure. Achieving unification in such chaos should have been a world-shaking merit.]
[However.]
[This hell-level merit belongs to the Cao Wei regime.]
[Cao Cao campaigned his entire life, unifying the north, suppressing the warlords, laying the foundation for unity.]
[Cao Pi and Cao Rui maintained and governed for two generations. No grand victories, but they kept the Central Plains' advantage, suppressing Shu and Wu.]
[By the time Sima Yan took the throne, the board was already set.]
[All he did was pluck the fruit of victory.]
[The hardest part of founding Western Jin.]
[Wasn't fighting. Wasn't governing.]
[It was Sima Yi's lifespan.]
[He lived way too long.]
[He outlived Cao Cao.]
[Outlived Cao Pi.]
[Outlived Cao Rui.]
[Outlived Zhuge Liang.]
[If he'd just died two years earlier.]
[The Sima clan wouldn't have seized power.]
[And there'd be no Western Jin.]
The visuals matched the narration.
Cao Cao grew old, dying of illness in Luoyang.
Cao Pi took the throne, dying young shortly after.
Cao Rui indulged excessively, passing away.
Zhuge Liang died of illness at Wuzhang Plains, a star falling in the autumn wind.
And Sima Yi was always standing there.
The comments kept rolling.
[Sima Yi: My fate is in my hands, not heaven's—my hands are holding health supplements.]
[Health guru champion Sima Yi hahaha!]
[Three generations of Caos: Why won't this old bastard die?]
[Winning the championship via lifespan, first in history. After him, no powerful minister ever lived long again.]
[Hahaha, anyone who lived long got executed by the emperor for some reason, right?]
[What else? Who wasn't scared of the Sima family?]
[Swore an oath at the Luo River, murdered the emperor in broad daylight.]
[Not a single Sima acted like a human.]
[Sima Yan was somewhat benevolent though.]
[But also a waste.]
[Couldn't secure the succession.]
[Created the Five Barbarians Chaos, Huaxia's darkness.]
[The Sima family deserves exactly what they got.]
Western Jin.
Sima Yan's face went deathly pale.
He collapsed onto the floor.
"How is this possible?"
The ministers below dared not speak.
Great Qin.
Ying Zheng frowned.
"What a word, 'outlive'."
"To think a dynasty could be founded like this."
Li Si spoke from the side.
"Your Majesty, this man endured for decades and achieved greatness. He shouldn't be underestimated."
Ying Zheng nodded.
"Enduring and living long is indeed a skill."
"But Zhen looks down on such skills. Eleventh place for Western Jin is well deserved."
Early Han.
Liu Bang laughed loudly.
"Hahaha, so that's how it is."
"Back in the day, I fought for every inch out of Pei County with blade and spear."
"This Sima family just lived long enough to snatch the world."
"Kinda interesting."
"But regarding the merit of founding a state, getting it this way will never be legitimate."
Northern Song.
Zhao Kuangyin shook his head.
"The Chenqiao Mutiny, I too wore the yellow robe."
"But at least I fought my way up with blade and spear."
Zhao Pu echoed from the side.
"Your Majesty speaks absolute truth."
"The Sima clan stole the state over three generations. They cannot be mentioned in the same breath as Your Majesty."
Great Qing.
Kangxi sneered.
"Han dynasties are all this filthy."
"My Great Qing entered the pass relying on real blades and spears."
On the Celestial Screen, the visuals changed again.
[Of course, we must evaluate objectively.]
[Western Jin destroying Wu wasn't entirely without substance.]
[The Sun Wu regime held Jiangdong for decades, deeply rooted.]
[A powerful navy, the Yangtze natural barrier easy to defend and hard to attack.]
[Though Wu's ruler and ministers were incompetent, the Jiangdong noble families might not have been willing to surrender.]
[Jin attacked Wu on six fronts, advancing by water and land, to succeed in one stroke.]
[Compared to Sui destroying Chen, Western Jin destroying Wu was actually harder.]
[After all, the Chen dynasty's roots were shallow, while Sun Wu had long been established.]
[Therefore, evaluating Western Jin's founding difficulty is somewhat tricky.]
[Going up, it seems it could be rated top-tier.]
[Going down, it seems it could be rated NPC (passerby).]
[But considering the Sima clan's rise overall, the final verdict is.]
['Superior Man' fits best.]
[Fitting in the literal sense.]
Great Ming.
Zhu Yuanzhang laughed loudly.
"Superior Man."
"I say Superior Man sitting on a Man."
"Because he sat on someone else's shoulders."
"What's the difference between that and a toddler sitting on an adult's shoulders?"
Empress Ma couldn't help but laugh.
"Chongba, your mouth."
Zhu Yuanzhang reined in his smile.
"Wifey, I'm speaking the truth."
"The Sima family's trash caused foreign barbarians to ravage Huaxia."
"That's even worse than Great Song. I hate these kinds of people the most."
Great Tang.
Zhangsun Wuji couldn't help but say.
"The Celestial Screen is saying Sima Yan took advantage of the 'man' part in 'superior man'."
"After all, an emperor manufactured by three generations of the Sima family."
"Compared to true founders, he falls far short."
Li Shimin sighed with emotion.
"Such a 'superior man'."
"The title sounds sarcastic."
"But the mouths of later generations are truly vicious."
"I wonder how they'll evaluate my Xuanwu Gate Incident when the time comes."
Li Shimin brought it up himself.
None of the ministers wanted to touch that topic.
After all, it was truly Li Shimin's scar.
Instead, at this moment.
Wei Zheng said faintly.
"Your Majesty, no amount of future evaluation compares to cultivating virtue today."
"Cough cough, Minister Wei is right."
Li Shimin choked on his words, left speechless.
This old bastard reverted to his usual self again.
I really had a loose tongue back then.
Why did I tease him?
Wouldn't it have been nice to let him blow smoke up my ass a bit more?
Great Song.
Zhao Kuangyin nodded slightly.
"'Superior Man' difficulty."
"This evaluation, I agree with it too."
"Sima Yan's founding—say it's hard, it's hard; say it's easy, it's easy."
Zhao Pu cupped his hands.
"Your Majesty, speaking of difficulty, ending the Five Dynasties and Ten Kingdoms was a hundred times harder than what he did."
Zhao Kuangyin shook his head.
"Don't flatter me to death."
"But I am indeed more deserving of this list than him."
Great Sui.
Yang Guang laughed even louder.
"'Superior Man' difficulty."
"Hahaha, killing me."
"People of later generations sure know how to play word games."
"The Sima family's trash really could only rely on sitting on others' shoulders."
"The way these later generations talk is quite amusing. I truly look forward to when they praise my reputation as the greatest emperor of all time!"
[Having discussed unification difficulty.]
[Let's talk about the level of statecraft.]
[This man, Sima Yan.]
[His first half was a qualified emperor.]
[Even, due to his benevolent nature.]
[He could be called a wise ruler.]
[He unified the Three Kingdoms, ending the chaos.]
[Implemented the Zhantian land system, encouraged agriculture and sericulture.]
[During the Taikang era, the world was peaceful, population grew, known historically as the Rule of Taikang.]
[Had he died then, his historical evaluation wouldn't be bad at all.]
[However.]
[Sima Yan's second half was a disaster.]
[He massively enfeoffed princes, giving them real power, planting the seeds for the Rebellion of the Eight Princes.]
[He indulged limitlessly, ten thousand women in the harem, even riding a goat cart to choose who to sleep with.]
[He knew Crown Prince Sima Zhong was an idiot, but bound by Empress Yang's dying words, insisted on keeping him as heir.]
[Every dangerous hidden peril an empire could have, he collected them all.]
The visuals matched the narration.
Princes hoarding troops, mutually suspicious.
Harem beauties like clouds, extravagance without limit.
Sima Zhong looking dull-witted, drool dripping down.
Jia Nanfeng vicious and cruel, eyes like a snake.
Foreign tribes at the borders, watching like tigers.
The comments exploded.
[Goat cart choosing concubines, a famous historical scene.]
[Ten thousand in the harem, absurd.]
[Made his idiot son crown prince.]
[Absurdity opening the door for absurdity.]
[Peak absurdity!]
Great Qin.
Ying Zheng's face was cold.
"Enfeoffing princes? Where did this idiot come from!"
"When Zhen abolished enfeoffment and implemented commanderies, it was precisely to prevent this disaster."
"He actually repeated the same mistake. Can he truly not see the benefits of grand unification?"
Li Si echoed.
"Your Majesty is wise."
"Enfeoffment is the root of national ruin."
"And ten thousand in the harem."
"The common folk are starving, yet he's picking concubines from a goat cart."
"If such a dynasty doesn't fall, that'd be weird. This Sima Yan was ultimately an emperor unfit for great responsibility."
Early Han.
Liu Bang's expression shifted slightly.
"I enfeoffed some back then too, but I was forced by circumstances."
"Seems this problem is serious. Need to have Liu Ying quickly revoke the feudal lords' powers later."
Great Han.
Emperor Wu of Han, Liu Che, sneered.
"Utterly foolish, not even knowing the disaster of enfeoffment."
"I issued the Tui'en Order precisely to weaken the feudal lords' power."
"Can these later emperors really learn nothing at all?"
Great Ming.
Zhu Yuanzhang sneered.
"When I enfeoffed my sons, it was to guard against the Mongol Yuan."
"But I also left ancestral instructions: princes must not interfere in politics."
"This Sima Yan just handed military power directly to his princes."
"Simply stupid to the core."
Northern Song.
Zhao Kuangyin shook his head.
"Releasing military power over a cup of wine was exactly for this."
"Sima Yan didn't understand this principle. Serves him right."
Kangxi sneered.
"Han emperors always have this womanly soft-heartedness."
"My Great Qing's Eight Banners council never allowed imperial clansmen to disrupt governance."
Modern spacetime.
The Japanese general sneered.
"Central Plains emperors are all incompetent fools."
"It is only natural that my Great Neon replaces them."
The Celestial Screen's voice turned low.
[And this wasn't even the most terrifying part.]
[The most terrifying was the Five Barbarians Chaos of Huaxia.]
[In 291 AD, Jia Nanfeng killed Yang Jun, triggering the Rebellion of the Eight Princes.]
[The princes attacked each other, bringing in foreign armies, causing years of war and a sharp drop in the Central Plains' population.]
[In 304 AD, the Xiongnu Liu Yuan raised troops in Zuoguo City, declaring himself King of Han.]
[In 311 AD, the Disaster of Yongjia, Luoyang was breached.]
[Emperor Huai of Jin was captured, over thirty thousand nobles and commoners slaughtered.]
[In 316 AD, Chang'an fell, Emperor Min of Jin was captured.]
[Western Jin perished.]
On the Celestial Screen, the visuals slowly froze.
[Huaxia's first darkest era began here.]
[Northern Han people migrated south, the Flight of the Elite, preserving the spark of culture.]
[But the Central Plains sank into centuries of division and war.]
[White bones exposed in the wild, no rooster crowing for a thousand miles. One in a hundred survives, thinking of it breaks one's heart.]
[The endless disasters suffered by Huaxia's people—all because of the Sima family.]
[This was the evil fruit of the Sima family stealing the state over three generations and losing all virtue in one.]
[Ultimately swallowed by the people of Huaxia.]
The visuals unfolded.
Luoyang breached, flames reaching the sky.
People displaced, corpses covering the fields.
Barbarian cavalry sweeping south, iron hooves trampling the Central Plains.
Han elites fleeing south, tearfully bidding farewell to their homeland.
The comments instantly went silent.
Then, an even fiercer wave erupted.
[Five Barbarians Chaos, Huaxia's darkest hour.]
[Disaster of Yongjia, too tragic.]
[Sima family, sinners of the ages.]
[Jin really is the most pathetic unified dynasty.]
[He founded a state, and Huaxia almost perished.]
[Fucking hell, idiot Sima Yan, bitch Jia Nanfeng, plunged my Huaxia into three hundred years of darkness!]
[And the generals, well said!]
Western Jin.
Sima Yan nearly fainted.
"How could it be like this!"
"Was I truly wrong?"
No minister below spoke.
Great Qin.
Ying Zheng gripped the Tai'e Sword, knuckles white.
"Huaxia nearly perished at the hands of barbarians."
"Damned Sima family! Damned barbarians!"
He spun around abruptly, eyes blazing.
"Li Si, when Zhen struck the Xiongnu north and built the Great Wall, it was to prevent this very disaster."
"This Sima Yan actually let barbarians rule the Central Plains."
"Ten thousand deaths couldn't absolve his crimes."
Li Si bowed.
"Your Majesty, please quell your anger."
Ying Zheng raged.
"How can Zhen quell my anger!"
"Huaxia's unification was hard-won."
"Yet destroyed in an instant by such a fool."
"Guards, pass the order down! Descendants of Great Qin may lose their state, but must never let barbarians rule!"
"Otherwise, anyone may execute them!"
Great Han.
Emperor Wu of Han, Liu Che, was equally furious.
"Bastard! Incompetent fool!"
"I drove the Xiongnu far away so Huaxia could stand tall in the world!"
"He dared let foreigners rule the Central Plains! He deserves death! Guards, keep organizing the army!"
"I want to see which foreign tribes in later generations dare covet the Central Plains! Today, I'll wipe them all out!"
Huo Qubing stood nearby, his young face full of rage.
"Your Majesty, your subject requests to enter the northern desert again and behead every barbarian chief."
Liu Che patted his shoulder.
"Qubing, good, very good!"
"You're far better than those wastes in later generations."
Great Tang.
Li Shimin's eyes were bloodshot.
"Five Barbarians Chaos of Huaxia."
"This is Huaxia's pain."
"The Central Plains must never fall into barbarian hands again."
Wei Zheng said gravely.
"Your Majesty, the Celestial Screen warns us. Future generations must take this as a lesson."
Li Shimin nodded.
"I will make Great Tang strong, ensuring barbarians never cross the line."
Great Song.
Zhao Kuangyin clenched his fists.
"The Sixteen Prefectures of Yanyun unrecovered is already Great Song's shame."
"If barbarians rule the Central Plains again, I won't close my eyes in death."
Zhao Pu cupped his hands.
"Your Majesty, your subject will exhaust every effort to recover our lands."
Great Ming.
Zhu Yuanzhang was beyond furious.
"I expelled the Tartars and restored China."
"Precisely so barbarians would never ride on Han heads again."
"This Sima Yan, for the disaster he brought Huaxia, truly deserves death!"
Empress Ma held his hand.
"Chongba, don't ruin your health with anger."
"Later generations will judge fairly."
Zhu Yuanzhang took a deep breath.
"Wifey, I'm not angry."
"I just feel it's unfair to the Central Plains' people."
Modern spacetime.
Greed flashed in the Japanese general's eyes.
"Barbarians sweeping south."
"Very good."
"My Great Neon will be the next force to rule the Central Plains."
"Huaxia will eventually be ours."
Northwest.
Mr. Sun shook his head.
"Disaster of Yongjia."
"Flight of the Elite."
"Behind these names lie the bones of countless people."
"Emperors fight for power, the people suffer."
"This is the essence of feudal dynasties."
"What we must do is ensure history never repeats itself."
The soldiers said firmly.
"Yes, Mr. Sun!"